One of our most precious minhagim by a Jewish wedding is that the chosson breaks a glass under the chuppah.
The best-known reason for this is that it’s done as a zecher lechurban – a remembrance for the destruction of the beis hamikdash.
But is this the only reason? Absolutely not.
Let’s explore.
The Reason of Zecher Lechurban
The Gemara in Bava Basra (60b) quotes the verse that we often sing – “im lo a’aleh es Yerushalaim al rosh simchasi– if we don’t raise Yerushalaim at the height of our joy.”
The Gemara derives from here that a chosson should put ashes on his forehead in the place of tefillin.
Although the Shulchan Aruch quotes this halacha and many chassanim observe this minhag nowadays, the Kol Bo (Siman 62) writes that there are places where this decree is no longer kept, as we aren’t as careful about tefillin as they were in the times of chazal. Therefore, the minhag developed to do a different act as a zecher lechurban – breaking the glass.
The Rema (O:C 560) quotes the Kol Bo that breaking a glass is done as a zecher lechurban.
On this, the Taz writes that he approves of a minhag that developed in his times to say the verse of im lo a’aleh es Yerushalaim al rosh simchasi by the chuppah, a minhag which has gained much traction in recent years.
A Second Reason – The Opinion of Tosfos
Tosfos in Brachos (31a) seems to provide a different reason.
The Gemara there discusses how many of the Amoraim were careful to balance the need to be happy against the potential of being too frivolous and unserious.
In that context, the Gemara quotes the stories of Rav Ashi and Mar Breih D’Ravina who both broke glasses at their children’s weddings to prevent the celebrations from becoming too frivolous.
Rabbeinu Yonah notes that this Gemara is not speaking about being too joyful as a zecher lechurban. Rather, it’s based on the principle that while we should of course live our lives in a state of simcha and happiness, extreme frivolity should be avoided – there should be a balance between the two.
On this Gemara, Tosfos explains that this is the reason for breaking a glass at a wedding. Not necessarily as a zecher lechurban. Rather to avoid being too frivolous.
A Third Reason – The Reason of the Shelah Hakadosh
The Shelah Hakadosh (Parshas Shoftim) quotes from the Rekanati yet another reason.
In Parshas Shoftim, the Torah lists three special exemptions from war: One who builds a new house, plants a new vineyard or marries a wife. These soldiers are sent home from the battlefield.
The Rekanati explains that for these three situations, the person who just celebrated this momentous purchase or occasion is ripe for an ayin hara. As a result, this person may then be subject to heavenly scrutiny and middas hadin.
To avoid any adverse effects stemming from this, the Torah commands us to exempt these people from war, as they are likely to face middas hadin in their current state.
Similarly, the Rekanati explains that this is the reason for breaking a glass under the chuppah. Since the chosson and kallah are in a situation that may lend themselves to ayin hara, we break the glass to say that any middas hadin should be fulfilled and used up through the breaking of this glass. Not through some other means, chas veshalom.
A Fourth Reason – The Reason of the Yam Shel Shlomo
The Yam Shel Shlomo explains that every marriage should recall the initial marriage of Hashem and Klal Yisrael when we were given the Torah.
The same way that when the Torah was given, Moshe ended up breaking the luchos, similarly, by a wedding, we make a point to break the glass to recall the marriage of Hashem and Klal Yisrael.
What About Bal Tashchis?
The Pri Megadim raises the following question: What about the prohibition of Bal Tashchis?
When in war, the Torah commands us to not chop down fruit trees and a subset of this prohibition is to not engage in wasteful activity – such as breaking usable objects.
Shouldn’t breaking a glass be considered wasteful?
The Pri Megadim answers that since it’s done for a purpose – so that people remember the churban and take mussar in that – it’s not a violation of bal tashchis.
We find a similar concept in a Gemara in Kiddushin (32a).
The Gemara quotes how Rav Huna tore a garment in front of his son and raises the potential issue of bal tashchis. The Gemara explains that since Rav Huna did it to instill order in his household, that solved the issue of bal tashchis.
Why is this true?
The Rambam (Melachim 6:10) explains that bal tashchis is only violated if the wasteful activity was performed in a destructive manner. Based on this, since Rav Huna (and a chosson) are breaking things for a constructive purpose, bal tashchis wouldn’t be an issue.
The Semag (Lavin 229) has a slightly different reading.
The Semag explains that since in these cases, the good outcome outweighs the bad, it’s not a violation of bal tashchis. Unlike the Rambam, the Semag’s focus isn’t on the intent of the perpetrator – rather, the focus is on the positive outcome outweighing the negative.
We should be zocheh to continue celebrating in simchos.